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More pertinently, the most vulnerable individuals on these sites, the young, inexperienced men who really need positive sexual role-models are being taught that in order to receive the attention and intimacy they crave, they must allow themselves to be used as sex objects.
Unfortunately, many of these young men do just that, and acquire for themselves a sex education which dictates that submission, relinquishment of power and subserviently allowing yourself to be used sexually are the modes by which you can most expediently access affection, however fleeting and ephemeral it may be.
Sometimes, the only photographic evidence of themselves they wish to send are close-up shots of their penises.
It has always baffled me that these men presume that a picture of a disembodied phallus should be enough to warrant me arranging a ‘meeting’ with them.
Anyone who has spent time on Grindr or Gaydar will know that it is common to receive sexually aggressive messages accompanied by photographs of the sender in provocative poses, often naked. Beforehand, I researched the charity and read the testimony of a young man who had met someone he had been chatting to on an internet dating site.It was the first contact he had had with other gay men.If sex has been debased to the level where men are willing to submit to each other on the basis of the size and shape of their respective members, then surely this is symptomatic of a larger sexual dysfunction.
Whilst sex should be fun and experimentation should be promoted in order that we can all have fulfilling and liberated sexual lives, simply using each other as receptacles for penises totally negates the emotional and psychological aspects of healthy sexuality.At the time, I used to berate myself quite severely for it, but I may have been doing myself a favour.